Jul 23, 2016

Guru

I stopped eating. At first, I have to admit I was hungry. It happened that I missed dinner coming home tired from work and I simply forgot to eat.
The next day I brushed my teeth and by the time I got to work I wasn't hungry anymore. That was the last day I was ever hungry. I opened the fridge, food on the right food on the left, but nothing that really caught my eye so ... I gave up on that.
On the third day I got scared and heated up some soup, not because I was hungry, you understand? I was afraid, because I hadn't eaten for three days. Just the smell made me nauseous, I tried a bite of bread but I had to spit it out, it had a moldy taste.
I can't say that this sudden fast didn't affect me, I usually go the bathroom regularly, but nothing now.
Not a big problem, but on the morning of the 4th day I woke up with a sore throat. Nothing serious but it felt like I was rubbing sandpaper on my windpipe every time I swallowed. It felt like I had  lumps in my throat and was about to cough up a hair ball. Four days without food ... hmm and then I remembered, I hadn’t had a drink all whole time. My throat was dry as the Sahara, in a classic exaggeration. I drank a glass of water, I should remember to do that occasionally.
Five days without food, I don't feel tired, and no, I'm not hungry. I see a banana in the kitchen, it doesn't look half bad but I think it would be better to abstain. What if I never have to eat again? ... It would be great. Enlightenment begins now, just hold out for another day or two and then I'll get rid of this ridiculous addiction to food. Fantastic, if I can control this, what else can I do?
6th day, something strange happened, I think I made a mistake somewhere. I began to control my breathing, but now and I can't stop. I totally and definitively took control of my breathing, every inhalation and every exhalation requires a conscious effort. I began to count them, I breathed 5628 times today. I'll try to stay awake and get over this hump.
Day 7, the second day without sleep, I am not hungry, I am not sleepy, don't think I'll continue much longer … with this mechanical breathing. Maybe I don't need to breathe at all. At least let me take a break... for a few minutes ... now.

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